Not so much of a fun-filled adventure
by LainellaFay
Summary: The Rikkaidai regulars are left stranded in a mystical forest. Join them as they go through a series of possibly hilarious, terrifying and downright annoying events on their little adventure.
1. Where in Tenipuri's name are we?

**Where in Tenipuri's Name are we?  
**

_The Capital of Tenipuri, Rikkaidai, doesn't allow defeat. It was unforgivable. The Rikkaidai boys tennis club regulars lost to a small village, Seigaku, in the Kantou Tournament and were nearly sent to the dungeon, their lives hanging on a thread. However, thanks to the influence of their great captain, the Child of God, Yukimura Seiichi, the Rikkaidai regulars were given a second chance – To redeem the Capital's reputation of being the Kings, to crush Seigaku should they ever meet again in the Nationals for disgracing them. The Rikkaidai regulars agreed, and trained harder than ever. Unfortunately, history repeated itself, and the Rikkaidai regulars were shamelessly defeated in the finals of the Nationals Tournament. _

_"You have brought shame upon us once more," a voice boomed from the shadows in the large room. The Rikkaidai regulars were on their knees at the front of the throne, heads hanging down in shame. _

_"You know what happens next…"_

_"NO! Give us another chance! We'll defeat them next year! We swear on it!" Kirihara Akaya, the youngest of all the regulars exclaimed, crawling forwards as he tried to plea for his life. _

_"The law of Rikkaidai is that losing is unforgivable. You've already been given a second chance. We have no use for losers in our city." _

_Kirihara roared, his eyes turning bloodshot. Marui Bunta and Jackal Kuwahara rushed forwards and tried to contain the younger boy, but he was too strong for them, knocking them off their feets and onto the floor, landing on their bottoms. _

_"GUARDS! RESTRAIN THEM!" _

_Guards flowed into the large room from all sides, rifles slung over their shoulder as they surrounded the regulars. 10 of them jumped onto Kirihara and clasped a cloth over his mouth. The other regulars stared wide-eyed at the rough treatment, and Kirihara slumped down into a heap on the floor. They didn't get very long to look, as soon, they too were drugged and their bodies piled on top of each other. _

_"They are too dangerous. Simply exiling them may be risky for our city. They are the kind to rise back up onto their feets after falling down into the depths of hell," another voice spoke. _

_"What shall we do then?" the first voice boomed. _

_"I suggest that we send them…there…"_

_"That's crazy! No one knows what lurks in there!" other voices of disapproval shot out. _

_"No. I agree. They are exiled to…" _

.~.

Kirihara was the first to come back to consciousness. He sat up, rubbing his eyes and gawked at the scene of paradise in front of him. He could hear the running water in the stream, and birds chirping like they were in an orchestra. The grass on the other side of the stream was green, so green, that Kirihara felt like he could turn into a cow and just munch onto them for life. The sun shined down on him and Kirihara felt the warmth seep through his skin. He was truly in…paradise.

No…not really.

Kirihara sat up, rubbing his eyes and his jaw dropped down onto the floor. Tall trees towered over him on all sides, the dense leaves blocking most of the sunlight (or was there even sunlight in the first place?). _Rustle_. Kirihara held his breath as he slowly turned his head around, nearly peeing his pants when he saw two yellow eyes staring right back at him. Sweat profusely flowed down his face as he stared right back at the eyes, thinking that should he ever turn away, the owner of those ferocious eyes would jump out and eat him. Seconds turned to minutes and Kirihara and the mysterious creature were still in their staring contest, when the eyes suddenly disappeared. Kirihara let out the breath that he had been holding the whole time. How he did not pass out from the lack of oxygen was beyond him.

_Whoosh._ Kirihara noticed something black zip past the top of his head and he quickly ducked down, using his hands to protect his head. He placed his hands on either side of his body and clenched a handful of grass – which didn't feel like grass at all – in his hands. His eyes flitted around, up at the trees, running down the length of the trunk. He tried to see beyond what was around him, but the area was too dark for him to see anything.

Suddenly, he heard a groan from beneath him.

Wait…grass don't groan…

Kirihara quickly looked down and his eyes widened when he noticed that he was right on top of a human pile. He heard a few more groans, before those groans turned into incomprehensible mumbles. Kirihara simply just sat there, without thinking that maybe it might be better if he…got off them?

"Ow! Who's grabbing my hair?"

Kirihara looked down at his hands and realised that he, in fact, was the one who was holding a bunch of hair in a death grip. Oops. Quickly, he let go and jumped off, landing perfectly on his feet. He would have posed like a gymnast but he was too busy staring at the pile in front of him.

"Get-" Jackal spat out some soil that somehow got into his mouth, "-off me…" The poor Brazilian was right at the bottom of the massive pile of seven people.

"I can't get up if Marui doesn't! He's freaking on top of me!" Niou Masaharu lifted up his head with much difficulty and yelled.

"I'm not fat!" Marui exclaimed, rubbing the back of his head, where Kirihara had pulled onto his hair earlier. "Someone freaking pulled my hair, I bet I have a bald spot there now."

"I never said you were fat. But alright, since you've admitted it."

"Seriously, guys, stop complaining and get off me already," Jackal choked out.

"Where are my glasses?" Yagyuu Hiroshi asked from underneath Niou.

"Probability that it's in the soil beside us is 83%," Yanagi Renji, the Master, commented.

"TARUNDORU!" a loud voice boomed, and the flapping of birds' wings could be heard as they flew away from the trees. "Whoever's at the top get off already!"

"Listen to Sanada please, I'm being flattened by all of you…"

Marui slowly rolled off from the top of the pile, falling down hard onto the soil with an _ompf!_

Next was Niou, landing down on the ground beside Marui's feet after the red head stood up.

Then it was Yagyuu, who was smart enough to first sit up, and then jump down, landing on his two feet like Kirihara. He then circled the pile trying to find his glasses in the soil.

The sequence continued, the one right at the top got off, allowing the rest below to stand up as well. After Sanada Geinchirou lifted Yukimura up onto his feet, Jackal sucked in a deep breath, and rolled over onto his back.

"Finally…I thought I was going to die."

Yagyuu frowned, having spotted his glasses when Jackal rolled over. It had been underneath the whole human pile the whole time. Luckily for the gentleman, it was not broken and he shook the soil away from the glasses, before putting it on.

After Jackal finally stood up, each of them rolled their shoulders and stretched their bodies, groaning. When they were all done with that, they looked around before making a circle and stared at each other.

"Where…in tenipuri's name are we?"

.~.

"I only remember being drugged," Yanagi reported. The rest racked through their memories for a few seconds before cringing. Yeah…they definitely remembered that too.

"We're in a forest," Jackal chipped in. Marui whacked his partner's bald head and said, "We can all see that."

"Dammit, who pulled my hair, it hurts like crap," Marui muttered under his breath, but not soft enough as Niou caught it.

"You were at the top of the pile, no one would be able to pull your hair. Who knows? Maybe it was an eagle or something waiting to eat you."

Kirihara, who was standing beside Niou, slowly inched away, refusing to admit that he, was the one who pulled on Marui's hair earlier.

"Well, we _are_ in a forest…" Yukimura mused. "The question is…where?"

"Judging by the species of the trees, I can conclude that we're not anywhere near Rikkaidai." Yanagi walked around, placing a hand on a mossy tree trunk. "In fact, I don't even know what species of trees these are."

"So basically we were sent here to die."

Kirihara's eyes watered as he looked at Niou, who had uttered that comment. "D-die?"

"Probability of that is 97%."

"We're capable men! We can survive even in an unfamiliar place. Or are you saying that you're not fit enough to survive in the wild?" Sanada growled.

Niou didn't reply.

"Renji, what's the probability of us surviving?" Yukimura asked, trying to erase the tension that was gradually building up amongst them.

"I can't really predict that Seiichi." Yanagi walked back towards the group.

"Tell us what you think," Yukimura ordered.

Yanagi swallowed, and his mind started to calculate. "The probability is disturbingly low. It's only 11%."

Sanada grumbled and Yukimura turned to Yanagi for more details.

"Our chances of surviving decreased due to the fact that we do not know where we are. We have no food or water with us. Since we don't know the species of the flora here, there is a high chance that we might accidentally eat something poisonous. I have also taken into consideration the chances of us being attacked by the fauna living here."

Kirihara recalled the yellow eyes and shivered, only to receive a questioning gaze by Marui. The younger boy shook his head, not wanting to admit to his senior that he was frightened by a pair of eyes.

"The only way for us to survive, is to find our way out of this forest," Yanagi said.

The other regulars looked hopeful for a moment, only for it to be crushed when Yanagi continued, "However, I have absolutely no data about this forest and it could stretch out for millions of miles."

"If…that's the only way for us to live…I think we should try it," Yukimura said, his tone indicating that he was a little unsure of that decision.

"Yeah, but which way?" asked Marui, as he scratched his head, muttering under his breath about deadly mosquitoes sucking his blood.

"North, South, East or West? Where the heck's North anyway, we need a darn compass dammit!" complained Niou as he swatted a big and fat housefly out of his face. Houseflies are called houseflies for a reason aren't they? They should be in houses instead of dense forests!

"Yanagi?" Jackal looked at the data master for help. It was his decision after all.

Yanagi made eye contact with all of the regulars (at least, the best he could with his eyes seemingly permanently shut) and shook his head. "If I can at least see the direction of the sun, I might be able to figure it out, but unfortunately, in our situation-" he pointed upwards, "-we have no such privilege."

"Whoopee doo," Marui sarcastically commented. He pointed his index finger at Kirihara and ordered, "Akaya! Cover your eyes, don't peek!"

Kirihara raised an eyebrow and shook his head frantically. "Eh? What, no! What the hell, Marui-senpai?!"

"Oh come on, it's not a big deal. Just do it!" urged the self-proclaimed tensai as he made his way towards the younger boy.

"Marui…" Sanada growled, narrowing his eyes at the red head. Whatever the red head was trying to accomplish, Sanada did not want to know. He only knew that it wouldn't be anything useful and beneficial to them.

However, the self-proclaimed tensai ignored his vice-captain and had his hands on Kirihara's wrist, while the younger boy tried to squirm out of his grasp. Niou whistled and placed his hands behind his back.

"Marui, are you trying to rape Akaya?"

Jaws fell down onto the ground and Yagyuu cleared his throat, tugging on his prided Rikkai jersey collar (yes, they were all dressed in their yellow and black Rikkai jerseys). Marui rolled his eyes at Niou's childishness and said, "No. Of course not. Get your mind out of the gutter Niou."

"But Marui, you have to admit that Niou's kind of right," Jackal choked out. He gestured towards the misleading position that Marui and Kirihara were in.

Yukimura laughed and softly said, "I approve of team-bonding, but this is not how I visualise it."

"Yukimura!" Sanada was flabbergasted at the fact that his captain was not only not reprimanding the two for being foolish, but was finding it _amusing_.

"Marui-senpai!"

"Geez, you guys. Akaya, shut up and listen to me already!"

The rest of the regulars, besides Yanagi – who was either admiring or 'trying to collect data' on the surrounding flora – stood at a side while they watched Marui and Kirihara wrestle between each other. Niou deciding to join in the 'fun', tapped Marui on the shoulder and the red head started to whisper his plan into the silver head's ear. Niou nodded a few times before a large grin appeared on his face.

"I do not like Niou-kun's expression," Yagyuu admitted, and took a step back.

Jackal glanced sidewards at Yagyuu and followed suit. If the one closest to Niou was wary, Jackal felt that he should be too – especially since Marui was involved as well. Sanada looked as if he was going to blow his top but Yukimura kept him in control by holding him in a tight grip by the arm. Yanagi was still eyeing a particular rainbow-coloured flower, his head had a slight tilt as he muttered indistinct words under his breath.

"Brat, stop resisting-"

"Let go off me-"

"Honestly, just trust us-"

"Never!"

The three started bickering amongst each other and Sanada shut his eyes, disappearing into his own thoughts, away from the chaos in front of him. If he didn't, the phrase, "Tarundoru!", would certainly find a way to creep out of his throat.

By this stage, Marui had his palms clamped over Kirihara's eyes, and Niou held the younger boy's arms directly in front of him. The trickster forced Kirihara to point his right index finger and nodded a few times. He then lifted up the curly haired boy's left hand up to his face and Marui removed his palms, replacing it with Kirihara's left hand.

"Stay, don't you dare move your hands or I'll hang you up on a tree," threatened Niou, and Kirihara gulped, nodding as if his life depended on it. It kind of did…

"Good," voiced Niou and he looked at Marui. Marui nodded back at the silver head and the two third years stepped away from Kirihara. As Kirihara valued his life, he stayed in his position and asked, "Senpai…what's this for?"

"Yes, indeed, Marui, Niou, why is Akaya in that position?" Yukimura asked. Jackal and Yagyuu exchanged glances before shrugging at each other.

"Just wait buchou!" Marui exclaimed, rubbing his palms together in glee. He then stepped forwards and grabbed Kirihara by the shoulders. "Ready…go!" The red head exclaimed, before spinning Kirihara in circles, avoiding a whack in the face as Kirihara's arm – which was lifted up nearly parallel to the ground – spun around towards him.

"SENPAIII!" Kirihara screamed as he turned. And turned. And turned. It was worse than riding in the teacup ride in amusement parks. When Kirihara finally lost the momentum and stopped spinning, he swayed a little on the spot before asking, "Are we done now?"

Marui nodded and said, "Yup." His eyes followed the direction in which Kirihara's finger was pointing towards and said, "There we go."

"Huh?" Jackal voiced his confusion.

"We'll be heading in that direction, obviously," drawled Marui as he rolled his eyes.

"What?! That makes no sense at all! We can't just randomly decide where to go! Especially from using such a method!"

"Jackal-kun is right, Marui-kun. And you, Niou-kun, what were you thinking agreeing to do such a thing?"

Both of their statements were simply ignored by their teammates.

Kirihara removed his hand from his eyes and dropped his right arm down by his side. A few metres in front of him was Niou, who was pushing huge leaves away and peering through the gap that he made. Niou recoiled and turned around, facing the regulars.

"Hey, look." He pointed behind him. "There's a path there. How cool is that?"

That made Yanagi's head snap up from the rainbow-coloured flower. "Path?"

"Whooo!" Marui exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. "How's that for a genius?"

"Well, shall we go onwards then?" Yukimura suggested, and Niou disappeared behind the leaves.

Marui bounded off after the silver head and Kirihara grumbled, following suit. Jackal stared wide-eyed at his teammates before chasing after them, calling out their names as he feared for their safety. Yagyuu walked alongside Yanagi like a gentleman and the two disappeared as well. The only ones left were Yukimura and Sanada, Yukimura's hand gripping the cap wearing boy's arm.

"Well, one would think that they would wait for us," said Yukimura before he himself started dragging the vice-captain down the path. Sanada still had his eyes closed and was currently thinking of waterfalls cascading down rocks, a green meadow with the clear blue sky above, a sunflower blooming, and well, relaxing stuff, as he would probably have died a long time ago from the amount of stress that his teammates brought upon him unintentionally.

It truly was going to be an adventure that certainly won't be in Sanada's favour.

* * *

**A/N: Whoopee doo... I'm starting a new story, instead of updating my other stories. Aren't I just amazing? (sarcasm)  
This story is going to be pretty random. As in, anything can happen. Humour, probably, I'm trying it out! Monsters? Oh sure. So yeah, anything :D  
What do you think? Send me a review to let me know please~  
**


	2. Chain Messages and Strange Looking Fruit

**Chain Messages and Strange Looking Fruits**

The path certainly wasn't a path like those man-made cemented ones in the Capital. It could even barely be called a path, it being narrow, so narrow that they could only walk in a single file (with some difficulty), and muddy. Tree branches and thorns from both sides scratched the tennis players as they squeezed through.

Niou, who was in the lead, pushed a few broad leaves away, cringing when he felt the stickiness from a spider web on his face. Poking his head through the gap, he looked left and right.

It all looked the same.

What would you expect from a forest?

Marui poked Niou in the ribs and the silver head frowned, twisting his body around to growl at the red head.

"Why did you stop?" Marui asked, ignoring Niou's growl.

"The path ends here."

"What do you mean?"

"Look." Niou shifted a little, wincing when a sharp thorn poked him in the leg, through his pants. Marui stepped forwards and peered through the gap that Niou had made earlier.

"Eh, you're right." Marui pulled his head back and stared blankly at Niou.

"There wasn't even a path in the first place," Kirihara mumbled, wriggling his nose in disgust at the sight of his favourite tennis shoes being soiled.

"There was so!" Marui exclaimed, pointing behind him, nearly stabbing Kirihara's eye out.

"WATCH IT SENPAI!"

"Guys, guys, stop it." Jackal squeezed in between Kirihara and Marui. How he did that was a mystery, as there was practically no space for the Brazilian to move from behind Kirihara to the front of the younger boy. Marui huffed and folded his arms across his chest. "Don't butt in idiot."

Jackal jerked backwards, nearly hitting Kirihara in the head and the younger boy ducked. When the Brazilian moved out of Kirihara's way, the curly haired boy stood up and muttered under his breath, "Senpai-tachi all just want to kill me don't they?"

In front of him, Jackal and Marui were arguing about who was more of an idiot – Jackal using the words, "Bubblegum idiot," and Marui retorting with, "Bald idiot."

At the back of the line, Sanada whispered to Yukimura, "Are we still continuing?"

Yukimura nodded a few times before tapping Yanagi on the shoulder. "Sanada is asking whether we're still continuing."

"Yu-yukimura!" Sanada raised his eyebrow. What in the world was Yukimura doing?

Yanagi eyed the two before turning his head around, this time, tapping Yagyuu on the shoulder. "Seiichi informed me that Genichirou is asking whether we're still continuing our long journey through this narrow and muddy path, I'm assuming that we're meant to pass this on."

Yagyuu nodded and leant forwards, whispering into Kirihara's ear. "Yanagi-kun told me that Yukimura-kun had informed him that Sanada-kun was asking whether we're still continuing our trek through this narrow and muddy path because he is probably tired and wants to rest, therefore, he is asking whoever at the front this question."

Kirihara made a weird expression and said, "What?"

Yagyuu sighed and placed his hand on his forehead, before repeating, "Yanagi-kun told me that Yukimura-kun-"

"I got that senpai," Kirihara interrupted.

"Then Akaya-kun, would you just pass on the message? It's not very nice of us to leave Sanada-kun hanging like that."

Kirihara rolled his eyes before mumbling, "Whatever, fukubuchou can wait for life for all I care. He never lets me rest when I was tired during tennis practice, in fact, he made me run even more laps."

"Akaya-kun…" Yagyuu's tone changed and Kirihara gulped. It was never a good thing to get Yagyuu angry. The gentleman may not seem like the type, but when he got mad… Oh, he got mad. He could even be worse than angry Niou and angry Sanada combined. An angry Niou when woken up in the morning was as scary as a lion protecting her cubs, and Sanada was equivalent to a fire-breathing dragon good mood or not.

Nodding a few times furiously, Kirihara pulled Jackal by the arm, breaking up his and Marui's argument and whispered into the Brazilian's ear, "Yagyuu-senpai told me that Sanada-fukubuchou is tired and wants to rest, stupid lap assigning demon dares to complain about being tired? But he doesn't know whether we're still continuing on…I heard narrow, muddy…something. There was also something about Yanagi-senpai and Yukimura-buchou. Oh, and something about the person at the front. Yeah. Oh, and quickly pass this along because Yagyuu-senpai is angry."

"What's that about?" Marui asked, curious.

Jackal gave one last stare at Kirihara, who shrugged and pushed him towards the red head. Jackal then sighed and whispered into Marui's ear.

"What are you doing?" Marui asked.

Jackal silenced him with a hiss and passed the message over to the red head.

"What the shit?" Marui asked, after Jackal straightened up. Jackal raised his hands up in the air and shook his head.

"What are you guys whispering back there? I feel left out," Niou drawled.

Marui gave Niou and annoyed look before saying, "Apparently I have to pass this message to you."

"Huh?"

Marui beckoned for the taller boy to bend down and Niou did as told. Marui then passed the message onto Niou, "Apparently Sanada wants to get some relieve time with Yukimura and Yanagi, something about getting muddy in some narrow thing. I don't know, couldn't really understand Jackal. Akaya said something about a lap assigning demon, is he talking about Sanada? Apparently Yagyuu is angry for some reason, so we have to be quick."

When Marui finished, Niou straightened up and the silver head had a confused expression on his face.

"I was just as confused as you are," Marui informed the silver head.

"Is this some kind of chain message?" Niou asked. Marui shrugged. "Because if it is, pass this back down to the end. What. The. Shit? If Sanada wants to get down and dirty in the mud with Yukimura and Yanagi, I don't give a damn. They can do whatever they like. We don't have anywhere to go to right now anyways, since the path's freaking cut off."

"Er…" Marui tried to remember Niou's rant before nodding. Thus, the message was transferred back to Jackal, to Kirihara, to Yagyuu, to Yanagi, to Yukimura and finally, to Sanada. When Yukimura finished telling the vice-captain the message, Sanada's body shook with fury, or was it embarrassment, as his face turned bright red and his cap nearly flew off his head.

"TARUNDORU!"

Flapping of wings could be heard overhead again as birds disturbed from their rest, for the second time that day, flew out of trees.

"NIOU! ARE WE STILL CONTINUING?" he yelled, and Yukimura covered his ears with his palms at the loud volume.

See? Sanada certainly was as loud as a fire-breathing dragon.

.~.

Niou finally decided that he had no idea which way to turn (and also because Sanada was being a lazy douche bag) and led the Rikkaidai regulars out of the narrow and muddy path into a smaller, but circular area in the forest. When the last of the Rikkaidai regulars emerged from the bushes separating the path and the circular area, the eight of them stood in a circle (how else would they stand in a circular area?) and stared at each other with their arms crossed.

"Niou." Sanada glared at the trickster.

"Sanada." Niou mirrored.

"I'm awesome," Marui said all of a sudden, causing the other seven tennis players to stare at him weirdly.

"What?" Marui glanced at each of them. "I'm awesome."

Niou rolled his eyes and continued to glare at Sanada, but the cap wearing vice-captain had his eyes squeezed shut, mind off into la-la land like before.

"Where shall we go now?" Yagyuu asked, breaking the silence. All of them, besides Sanada, turned to look at Yanagi (so, besides Yanagi as well), who was staring intensely at the ground. When the data master looked up, he saw multiple pairs of eyes fixed upon him and lifted an eyebrow.

"What?" he asked.

Yukimura cleared his throat and shook his head. "Sorry, habit."

Yanagi calculated a few data in his head before saying, "You thought that I had the answers again didn't you? The probability of that is 98.5%."

"Yeah, sorry Yanagi, habit," Jackal sheepishly replied. A few mumbles of agreement rose up, and the data master frowned, before going back to staring at the ground, this time, squatting down so that he was closer to it.

"What are you doing anyway, Yanagi-senpai?"

"Collecting data."

Kirihara opened his mouth, and thought for a few seconds, before uttering, "Oh."

"We can always use my genius plan again," Marui suggested, as he twisted his body and plucked a strange looking purple coloured…fruit thing…from a random tree behind him.

"NO!" Kirihara protested. "Never again senpai!"

Snatching the weird object away from the greedy red head, Jackal shook his head and said, "We don't have space to do that. And using such ways is not practical."

"Oh, please, we're in a _forest_. There are no rules, no laws, no nothing. Who cares what we do," Marui said as he tried to grab that strange looking purple coloured object back from Jackal. The Brazilian chucked the object over his shoulder and Marui pouted.

"Obviously, I care."

"Who cares about that?"

Jackal looked hurt for a moment before deciding to ignore Marui's statement. It was Marui after all. 3 years of being "unintentionally" insulted by the red head was enough for the Brazilian to not take his statements to heart.

Marui twisted around again to pluck another strange looking purple coloured fruit thing from the tree when Niou grabbed him by the waist.

"Hey!" Marui shouted.

Niou kept a firm grip and moved Marui away from that particular tree. "No, you are NOT eating anything weird. If anything happens and you require CPR, I'm not going to be the one to do it."

Marui shoved Niou's hands away and huffed, "I don't need you to give me CPR. I'd rather die than let you give me mouth-to-mouth."

Niou raised his hands up in the air in a surrendering pose and tilted his head. "Okay, I don't care then, go ahead and eat something poisonous like that blue and red spotted mushroom over there."

"Mushroom?! WHERE?!" Marui exclaimed, jumping up and down as he tried to search for the mushroom that Niou was talking about.

"Marui, calm down," Yukimura said. "I don't care if Niou cares whether you die or not, but I would like to see all of us get out of here in one piece, and I do not mean that I'll be carrying a dead body out of this forest."

"But I'm hungryyy…." Marui whined, as he stopped jumping.

"No you're not, you're just greedy," Jackal said.

"Marui probably just wants something to occupy his mouth as he doesn't have a gum to chew on, therefore, he looks for food to satisfy the need to move his mouth," Yanagi piped up, still staring intensely at the ground, however, held between his fingers was a wriggly worm.

_Growl._

"Or…Marui really is hungry," Yanagi continued, as he hung the worm closer to his face, observing it.

"…"

"Told you," Marui said.

"…"

"But Yanagi's half right about me wanting something to chew on."

"…I see…"

"So…are we going to eat or what?"

Yukimura looked around and said, "Renji, stand up and stop doing whatever you're doing."

"You seem to love disturbing me when I'm collecting data, Seiichi," the data master said as he stood up, discarding the wriggly worm.

"Sanada, come back to Earth," Yukimura snapped his fingers in front of the vice-captain's face and Sanada blinked, jolting back to reality.

When everyone was paying attention, Yukimura laced his fingers together and had a serious look on his face. "We have a problem. What are we going to eat?"

A real problem indeed.

* * *

**A/N: Gah, I completely forgotten to write the disclaimer in the first chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own PoT and this applies for the rest of the story.**

**Monsters have yet to appear, but they will, oh they will. Don't you just love a game of Chinese Whispers or as I used to call it, Broken Telephone? It always ends up super weird and completely different from the original. **


	3. Life is full of risks, Akaya

**"Life is full of risks, Akaya"**

"Can't we just starve till we get out?"

"That's impossible," Marui responded with a straight face less than a millisecond later.

"It'll be a good way for you to lose all of those fats," Niou taunted.

"I'm too hungry to argue with you Niou."

Niou rolled his shoulders and commented, "You seem to have a lot of energy for a hungry person though."

Marui stopped pacing around in circles and bumping into everyone else, and turned his head around like a possessed doll. "Do I look energetic to you?" he croaked out in a feeble voice. It would have been more convincing if he actually looked haggard, but unfortunately, he did not, thus, the red head only looked like an overly dramatic queen. Or should I say, king.

"Starving till we escape is illogical Niou," Yanagi said. "Like I had said earlier, this forest could stretch out for millions of miles. We would starve to death before we even make any progress."

"Damn right." Marui pumped a fist in the air.

"I thought that you don't have any energy?" Niou glared and the self-proclaimed genius immediately continued on with his dramatic acts.

"But senpai, what if we eat something poisonous?"

"That's a risk that would have to take Akaya," Yukimura said, nodding and stroking an imaginary beard like a wise old man. "Life is full of risks."

"But I don't like the idea of dying with foam flowing out of my mouth, and having seizures or turning blue, or having my eyes turn into crosses," Kirihara remarked.

Silence.

Yagyuu coughed, clearing his throat and said, "Akaya-kun, what have you been watching?"

"Obviously not the news." Jackal rolled his eyes.

"What?" Kirihara asked, face blank.

"Eyes can't turn into crosses Akaya," Yanagi explained.

Kirihara blinked. "Senpai, are you sure? Because that's what happened to that guy on the show-"

"Eyes can't turn into crosses Akaya," Yanagi repeated.

"Guys, hello?" Marui waved his hand. "Less talking, more eating."

"Yeah eat air," Niou scoffed.

Marui's eyes widened for a moment before he started to open and close his mouth repeatedly.

"Marui-kun, what are you doing?" Yagyuu asked.

"Why is air tasteless?" Marui asked, after he was made to stop his ridiculous motions.

"Oh my goodness, this boy has gone nuts." Niou shook his head and smacked a palm onto his forehead.

"Air is not meant to be eaten…you inhale it…you don't eat it…" Yagyuu explained slowly, as if he could not believe what he was seeing, and hearing.

"But Niou said-"

"You shouldn't believe what Niou-kun says."

"So he was being sarcastic?"

Yagyuu nodded his head slowly and exaggeratedly like he was explaining something complicated to a small child. "Yes, Marui-kun. Niou-kun was being sarcastic."

Silence.

"Oh," Marui mumbled.

"And I thought the proverb says 'a hungry man is an angry man'. But Marui's case seems to be 'a hungry man is a stupid man'," Jackal whispered into Niou's ear, who grinned and nodded.

.~.

"Can we eat now?" whined Marui for the 100th time in that short period of time.

"Shh!" Yanagi hissed.

"But-" Marui started again, but he never got to finish his sentence as Jackal clamped a palm over his mouth. The Brazilian made a disgusted face but did not let go of Marui even when the red head started to lick his palm.

The eight regulars were spying on a few oak coloured and green spotted (seems like everything in that forest was weird) birds and Marui's constant whining might scare the birds away, hindering their (or Yanagi's) collection of data.

Why were they spying on birds like creeps?

Basically, Yanagi had a brilliant idea and suggested that if they were to find edible, non-poisonous food in this forest, the best thing to do was to observe what the native animals eat. Thus, they hunted around for any animals in the forest, and Kirihara spotted a few oak coloured and green spotted birds, which led to them following the birds, and turning out like stalkers. An interesting adventure indeed.

Luckily for them, the birds had landed onto ground level and were pecking on a few odd bowl shaped fruits (at least, that's what the tennis players thought it was).

"I think those should be safe to eat," Yanagi whispered.

"Are you sure Renji? There are probably food that birds can eat and humans can't," Sanada questioned.

"Now, now, we don't have any other options do we Sanada?" Yukimura said.

"Fukubuchou might be right though buchou," Kirihara urged. '_I can't believe that I agreed with Sanada-fukubuchou on something.'_

"Akaya, do you remember that life is full of risks? This is one of them," Yukimura reminded, stroking his invisible beard again.

"Buchou, what are you doing?" Kirihara gestured with his hand, referring to Yukimura's invisible beard stroking motion.

Yukimura tilted his head in confusion.

"That-" Kirihara imitated, "-action."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Yukimura replied with a straight face, his hands fell down to his side.

Kirihara decided to drop that subject then and there.

"AH MARUI!" Jackal yelled, and heads whipped around only to see a flash of red pass by them towards the oak coloured and green spotted birds.

_Chirp!_ The birds flew off immediately upon seeing the intruder.

Marui grabbed a handful of the bowl shaped fruits and popped them into his mouth (they were small, like the size of grapes). The other regulars slowly emerged from behind the trees and tip toed their way over to the red head, eyes wide as they watched Marui munch on the fruits gleefully.

"How did he escape?" Sanada hissed.

"I don't know! He just ran off!" Niou replied.

"Jackal-kun was restraining him," Yagyuu said.

Jackal placed his palms together in a praying position and apologised, "I'm sorry! I let him run off!"

Yukimura waved a hand to silence the regulars and the surrounded the red head, still intensely watching him pop another handful of the bowl shaped fruits into his wide-opened mouth.

The regulars stood with their arms in front of them, as if ready to catch the red head if he fell, however, their legs were apart, in a position prepared to run should anything happen, contradicting with the position of their arms.

Seconds ticked by and a small bead of perspiration flowed down Kirihara's cheek.

"You guys should try it! It tastes like tuna mixed with mustard! I prefer something sweet but this is good too!" Marui exclaimed, food particles fell out of his mouth as he spoke.

The seven regulars eyed each other before Niou muttered, "He looks like he's fine…"

"It's probably safe then," Jackal added.

They shifted a little when Yanagi stopped them.

"What is it?" Yukimura asked.

"What if…the effects don't come immediately?"

Their heads snapped back towards Marui and they stared and stared at him.

10.

9.

8.

7.

6.

5.

4.

3.

2.

1.

"Okay, it's probably safe then." Yanagi shrugged and they all dropped their 'on alert' stances.

"Oi, Marui, don't eat all of them," Jackal said, stretching out his hand, which was cupped to look like a bowl, as if asking his partner to share some of the fruits with him.

Marui shook his head furiously and shielded the fruits that was in his palm. "Go and look at that big leaf over there, there's loads there."

"Marui-kun, don't eat with your mouth open," Yagyuu suddenly said, and curious looks were directed at the gentleman.

"Huh? How do I eat with my mouth not open?" Marui said, more food particles fell out as he spoke and Yagyuu grimaced.

Clearing his throat and adjusting his glasses, Yagyuu said, "I meant, don't speak with your mouth open."

"…"

"Yagyuu, you alright?" Niou asked, placing a hand on his doubles partner's shoulder, concerned.

"I'm fine Niou-kun. And I meant, don't speak with your mouth full, Marui-kun."

The other regulars snapped out of their trance and voiced, "Ohhh…"

"That made sense now," Yanagi remarked.

"Whew." Niou removed his hand from Yagyuu's shoulder and placed it over his chest. "I thought that even Yagyuu disappeared over to the land of loonies with fatty."

"HEY! I resent that statement!" Marui yelled. "First of all, I AM NOT FAT. Do I have to keep repeating myself? Secondly, I'm not a loony!"

Even after Marui had stopped yelling and continued to eat, Niou still looked at him as though he was waiting for something else.

"What?" Marui asked, when he noticed Niou's stare.

"Oh, you were done?" Niou shook his head. "I thought that there would be a thirdly."

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

Yagyuu cleared his throat again and tugged on his collar. "I am terribly sorry for my mistake." He paused. "Mistakes."

Niou patted the gentleman on the back and softly said, "Don't worry. It happens."

"Marui-senpai…did you say that it tastes like tuna mixed with mustard?" Kirihara dangled a bowl shaped fruit in the air and stared at it.

"Yeah." Marui nodded. "It's pretty good you know?"

"Somehow I don't think tuna mixed with mustard sounds appetising."

"Oh, just try it." Marui rolled his eyes and stuffed a bowl shaped fruit into the younger boy's mouth. "Bite. Chew. Whatever. Just don't spit it out. Honestly, you guys need to trust me more often, I'm not a genius for nothing."

"No one, besides yourself, calls you a genius," Niou said, as he popped a fruit into his mouth.

"They so do!"

"Yeah…righttt…" Niou drawled. "Who?"

"Ewww…" Kirihara cried out, his tongue hanging out of his mouth as he tried to get rid of the taste of the bowl shaped fruit from it. "How do you stand this?"

"What?" Marui asked, between mouthfuls.

Yukimura swallowed. "I have to admit, these aren't exactly the best."

"Worse than dog food," Niou said.

"How do you know what dog food tastes like?" Jackal raised an eyebrow.

Niou gave the Brazilian a blank stare. "You don't want to know."

"I see…" Jackal backed away.

"…" Sanada made no complaints, but the look on his face explained enough.

"Geez, if all you guys do is complain, then don't eat them! More for me then!" Marui shouted.

"I don't think that that's a good idea Marui…" Jackal pulled the red head away from the source of the fruits. "We're still not that certain whether it's safe to eat or not. Better not to eat that much."

"Wait. So we weren't completely sure whether it's safe?" Kirihara asked, wide-eyed. Yanagi and Yukimura exchanged looks before nodding.

Kirihara's jaw dropped open and he spluttered like a fish out of water, "S-so, yo-you made me eat something that had the potential to kill me?"

"Pretty much," Niou drawled.

"Risks, Akaya, risks," Yukimura reminded the green eyed boy yet again. "Life is full of them."

"H-how could you?!" Kirihara exclaimed, stomping his foot like a child throwing a tantrum.

"No one said that we couldn't." Yukimura shrugged.

_Chirp!_

The tennis players turned at the sound of a bird chirping, and spotted a red coloured, with a beak the shape of a pelican's, and brown striped bird. That particular bird, about the size of a 3 year old toddler, walked up to the tennis players, ignoring them, and swallowed a few of the bowl shaped fruits that they were eating earlier.

Suddenly, there was a loud _thump!_

The tennis players nearly jumped five feet in the air at the sight of the bird collapsing after just swallowing a few of those fruits. They stared at the remaining fruits that they had in their palms, and back at the collapsed bird, before screaming (very manly screams, mind you), chucking the fruits down onto the ground, and high-tailing out of that area.

Such fine men they were…

* * *

**A/N: Yagyuu's blunder with his words for the "don't speak with your mouth full" was what my friend did. It took her about 3 tries before she got it right. It was funny...at that time... Amy was almost rolling on the floor and I nearly choked on my food, which was scary... So credits to Ariel for that. :)  
By the way, I don't know what mustard tastes like, so if you like it mixed with tuna (do you even mix it with tuna?), well...let's just say that the Rikkai regulars have different tastes then :) **


	4. Mysterious Roar

**Mysterious Roar**

"Wh-wh-wh-what was that?" Kirihara wheezed through pants.

"How should I know?" Niou coughed out, leaning against a charred black tree trunk.

"Ya-yanagi-senpai?"

"Hm…" the data master mused. Unlike Kirihara, Niou, Yagyuu and Marui, the data master, along with Yukimura, Sanada, and Jackal, were not even the slightest bit tired. Not a single pant emerged from their mouths. "Interesting…it seems that different types of food can be harmful to different species."

"I told you that there were some food that birds can eat and humans can't," Sanada grumbled, tugging on his cap.

"Sanada, calm down," Yukimura said, smiling widely. "It's fine isn't it? We didn't collapse or anything."

"I'm on the verge of collapsing though," Marui spluttered. Niou reached forwards and lightly shoved the red head's foot, causing the self-proclaimed genius to fall down gracefully like a ballerina into a heap on the mud.

Niou chuckled like a mad man and said, "You're not on the verge anymore."

Marui lifted up his head, and Yukimura laughed into his sleeve at the sight of Marui's face fully covered with mud. "I'm going to kill you one day Niou, I swear on my life, I will."

"Go ahead and try then." Niou's eyes twinkled in amusement. "_Puri."_

"Jackal, kill him for me now."

The Brazilian lifted up his hand and pointed his index finger at himself. "Me?"

Marui nodded and slammed his face back down in the mud.

"Oi, Marui?" Jackal frantically shook Marui and rolled him over on his back, so that he wasn't suffocating himself by lying facedown in the mud.

"Buchou, we're not going to be like that gigantic bird are we?" Kirihara asked, having already regained his breath.

Yukimura laughed and shook his head. "Of course not Akaya. If we were, we would have already died a few minutes ago."

"That doesn't reassure me at all buchou."

"We'll be fine, Akaya-kun." Yagyuu placed a hand on the second year's shoulder. He then adjusted his glasses on his face before adding, "I think."

"Yagyuu-senpai! Don't say 'I think' at the end if you're trying to reassure someone!"

"There is a 14% chance that we would end up showing signs of any deadly diseases." Yanagi appeared right in front of the younger boy, and Yagyuu stepped away.

Kirihara scrunched his face up and used his fingers to calculate. "100% take away 14% is…86%?" he muttered. "So…there's an 86% chance that we'll be fine?"

"That's correct." Yanagi nodded.

"86% is more than 50%..." whispered Kirihara when Yanagi turned away.

"The first one who would show any signs, if we even do, would most likely be Marui," Yanagi said.

By then, with the help of Jackal, the mud on the red head was cleaned off and Marui was _sparkling clean_, like commercials when they advertised a new cleaning product and the tiles sparkled.

"Woah, bright!"

Marui beamed and made a peace sign with his right hand. "Dou, tensai teki?"

"It was all my hard work though," Jackal muttered.

"Why Marui-senpai?" Kirihara asked.

"That's because fatty ate the most, obviously," Niou drawled, as he rotated his head in a clockwise direction.

Kirihara formed an 'o' shape with his mouth and nodded. "So if Marui-senpai starts hacking up blood or something, we know that we'll be dead then?"

"HEY! Why would I be coughing up blood?"

"That seems to be the case." Yukimura nodded. "That is, if Marui doesn't eat anything else before that happens."

Kirihara made a horrified expression and said, "That's it. I'm not eating anything else. I'm going to starve till we get out like Niou-senpai suggested."

Yukimura smiled and shook his head. "You know that that's not possible Akaya."

"Hey! Is anyone going to comment on the fact that you guys predicted that I would be hacking up blood?" The poor red head was still yelling in the background, while being ignored by his peers. Jackal shook his head and eventually told Marui to hush.

"By the way, where are we now?" Yagyuu asked, spinning around in a circle.

"Well…" Niou glanced around, before pointing in a random direction. "We came from that way…"

"Really?" Jackal raised an eyebrow. "I thought that we came from that way." He pointed to a different direction.

"Eh?" Yukimura voiced his confusion. "I was pretty sure that we came from over there." He, as well, pointed to a completely different direction.

Sanada sighed and shook his head. Why couldn't he just be back at home in peace and quiet? Even better, he could be playing _tennis_. Wait. Tennis was the reason why they were even in the forest in the first place!

"Senpaiiiii!" Kirihara cried out, falling down onto his knees.

"Don't be in despair Akaya-kun, we'll find a way out of here," Yagyuu said, "I think."

"Yagyuu-senpai! You said 'I think' at the end again!"

Niou walked up to the younger boy and looked down at him. "Don't bother about it so much. Yagyuu's always like that. It's like a safety net for him you know? In case what he said before that wasn't true."

"At least I don't lie like you Niou-kun." Yagyuu pushed his glasses up.

"Yeah yeah! Yagyuu is truthful, unlike you rascal!" Marui agreed wholeheartedly and glared at the trickster.

Niou looked from Yagyuu to Marui, and back from Marui to Yagyuu before a grin emerged on his face. "_Puri._"

"Somehow I think that he's mocking me," whispered Marui and he turned away from the trickster.

Meanwhile, Yanagi was squatting down and concentrating on the trail of slug-like creatures sliding across them. "Maybe we should head in that direction," he said, looking up at the direction that the slug-like creatures were heading to.

"Are you sure Renji?" Sanada asked.

"No, not at all."

Yukimura shrugged and commented, "Well, what are the chances? Let's just go. Who knows? We might get lucky."

Sanada tugged his cap down, covering his eyes and muttered under his breath, "I don't think Lady Luck is on our side right now."

"Hm? What was that Genichirou?" Yanagi asked, standing up.

"Nothing," the cap wearing boy grunted.

"Onwards!" Niou exclaimed, dashing past the 3 Demons of Rikkai. The rest followed with less enthusiasm and let out a soft chant. Luckily for them, it wasn't as narrow as the path where they trekked through before, and the regulars could walk in pairs.

"Why am I following Niou?" Yukimura wondered. "I'm the captain aren't I?"

Yanagi glanced at Yukimura from the corner of his eye before adding a few more interesting facts about his captain in his head.

The rest of the journey was quiet, besides the squishing sound of their footsteps in the mud. Too quiet for comfort, Yanagi would say.

.~.

_Rumble._

The ground shook slightly and the Rikkai regulars immediately got into a defensive position.

_Roar._

The loud roar rang out and they quickly looked up, only to see nothing but trees towering over them, blocking away the sun (if it was daytime and not night), and the sky.

"What was that?" Kirihara asked, when they moved their heads back to their original positions.

"I don't know," Niou said. "But why is it that the first thing people do is to look up when they hear a loud noise?"

"In Tenipuri, we have advanced technology to create vehicles like fighter planes and helicopters. Those create outrageously loud noises when they soar through the sky, therefore, whenever we hear loud noises, we tend to look up because our brains associate loud noises with those vehicles in the air," Yanagi explained.

"Oh…" the other seven regulars said in unison as they nodded their heads.

"Okay, but let's get back to the main topic. What was that?" Jackal asked. "Even though I'm not an expert like Yanagi, I'm 100% sure that that roar wasn't a fighter plane, normal passenger plane, or a helicopter."

"I have no idea," Yukimura said. "Although, I most certainly wouldn't want to encounter the source of that roar."

"Do you think that it's a dragon or something cool like that?" Marui asked, bouncing up and down, his eyes sparkling.

"Pfft. There are no such thing as dragons idiot," Niou scoffed.

"You can't be so certain about that Niou."

"Huh?" Niou looked at Yanagi.

"There are still many undiscovered species on Earth, so there is still a possibility of dragons around, but they are just not discovered yet."

"That's ridiculous," Sanada exclaimed. "Dragons are only a figment of humans' imaginations."

"Sanada, you're the type that only believe in things when they see it with their own eyes aren't you?" Yukimura said.

"Well of course, they are only real if I see them for myself."

"I see…"

"Are you implying something Yukimura?" Sanada narrowed his eyes.

"No, nothing."

"So Yanagi, are there or are there not any dragons around?" Marui was currently bombarding the data master with questions about the existence of dragons.

"There is just a probability, it is not certain whether there are any."

"But there's a chance right? So there probably is isn't there?"

"Well-"

"There is aren't there?" Marui said, interrupting the data master. Marui jumped onto Yanagi's back and continued to ramble into the data master's ear. Jackal sighed and peeled the red head off Yanagi.

"You're even more immature than Akaya," Jackal reprimanded Marui.

"I can't believe that he's the oldest." Niou rolled his eyes and placed his hands behind his head. "He's the shortest, and the stupidest. Akaya is already stupid enough."

"I am not stupid! I'm a genius dammit, a GENIUS!"

Yagyuu turned away from Niou before saying, "That wasn't very nice of you Niou-kun."

"Niou's never nice dammit!" Marui yelled, swinging at fist at the trickster. Niou dodged skilfully and Marui groaned, while Jackal pulled him away.

Kirihara walked up to the four and asked Yagyuu, "Did Niou-senpai just call me stupid?"

Yagyuu glanced at Niou and back at Kirihara before nodding stiffly. "But Akaya-kun, I'm sure Niou-kun didn't mean that."

However, his words fell on deaf ears as the younger boy charged at Niou. "I am not stupid senpai!"

"Oh yeah?" Niou taunted as he avoided Kirihara. Marui squirmed in Jackal's arms. "Who's the one who got a 0 on his English exam?"

"That was a long time ago!"

"It was only last month Akaya," Niou stated. "Fine, but if you want a more recent example…who was the one who took ages to calculate 100% take away 14%?"

Kirihara stopped trying to attack Niou and felt his cheeks get hot. "I got it right though!"

"Enough!" Sanada boomed, his arms folded across his chest as he glared at the trickster.

Yukimura leaned towards Yanagi and whispered, "Did Akaya learn how to control his anger? Usually he would have already been in bloodshot mode or even devil mode by now."

Yanagi didn't reply. Yukimura frowned but made no comment.

"Are we just going straight ahead?" Niou asked Yanagi.

Yanagi glanced around before saying, "Hm…it seems so."

"How about we take a break for now?" Jackal asked, still restraining a struggling Marui. "I don't think this one can walk straight without somehow attempting to punch Niou in the face."

"Don't treat me like a kid Jackal!"

Yukimura observed his doubles team before nodding. "We can take a short break then." Scraping the mud with his shoe, he looked back up at Jackal before adding, "Don't let go of Marui though."

Jackal looked like he was going to protest but changed his mind when Marui tried to kick Niou when the trickster came closer.

"You can't get me~" Niou taunted, wriggling his fingers at Marui, who narrowed his eyes and frowned.

"Just wait, just you wait Niou."

"Oh~" Niou placed his hands on his chest. "I'm sooo scared!"

Yagyuu pulled Niou away from Jackal and Marui before nagging, "Niou-kun. Leave Marui-kun alone."

"Oh come on Yagyuu." Niou sighed. "It's fun."

Yagyuu looked over Niou's shoulder at Marui and said, "I don't think Marui-kun finds it fun."

"So?" Niou raised an eyebrow. "I do, and that's all that matters."

Yagyuu placed his palm on his forehead and shook his head. "Niou-kun…"

The trickster rolled his eyes and made his way back to Marui and Jackal.

_Rumble. Rumble._

Kirihara looked up and said, "Is it just me, or is the ground shaking again?"

"It's not just you," Sanada replied, as he eyed his surroundings.

Niou's eyes widened and he shrieked, "Shit guys RUN!" Then, he took off.

"WHAT? WHY?" Marui screamed at Niou as he struggled free when the Brazilian relaxed his grip.

"BOULDER!" Niou yelled over his shoulder.

The other regulars looked at the opposite direction from which Niou was running towards and saw a large boulder rolling towards them.

"AHHHHH!" they all screamed, and took off after Niou.

.~.

"Is everyone alright?" Sanada asked, leaning against a tree trunk. He heard panting around him but no one replied. Pushing off the tree trunk, Sanada moved towards the pants and muttered, "What?"

* * *

**A/N: Dragons are cool. I want to see one. Let's just hope that it won't kill me.**


	5. Gentlemanly Niou and Violent Sanada

**Gentlemanly Niou and Violent Sanada**

Sanada wanted to bash his head against a tree, whack himself unconscious and maybe, just maybe, he might be able to get out of this ordeal, away from those annoying little buggers.

"Oi Sanada!"

Sanada inwardly groaned and stopped walking.

"Do you think that we can eat this?"

"No," came the fast reply from the annoyed vice-captain. He didn't even turn his head to _look_ at what the other was referring to.

"Eh…why not?"

"Marui, no," Sanada repeated.

"Marui-senpai, I think we should listen to fukubuchou…"

"Since when do you agree with Sanada?" Marui snapped. Kirihara darted his eyes back and forth. Marui smirked when the younger boy didn't reply.

Sanada rubbed his temples and sighed.

Of all people to be with, it just had to be these two.

One: An immature sugar lover who could only think with his butt, or any other part of his body except for his brain.

Two: A naïve, easily manipulated and tricked off the courts, but turns into a devil on the courts, with a very hot temper to boot.

After running away from the large boulder, the Rikkai regulars had unfortunately gotten separated. The most unfortunate probably had to be Sanada, who was left with two of the infamous troublemaking trio of Rikkai.

_'At least Niou isn't here as well,'_ Sanada thought.

"Sanada!" Marui called out and Sanada twisted his head around. "Look at this! They are having se-"

"Don't say it Marui-senpai!"

"Oh come on, it's just two ladybugs, what's the big deal?"

"JUST DON'T!"

Sanada rubbed the area in between his eyebrows, wondering whether he had gotten wrinkles from frowning too much. Why couldn't he be left with someone more sane? Like Jackal for example. Even better, he could be with Yukimura. Speaking of which…where was Yukimura? Sanada ignored the quarrel between Marui and Kirihara and carried on walking, deep in his own thoughts about the safety of his captain.

.~.

"It seems like we're separated," Yukimura mused, glancing around.

"That seems to be the case Seiichi," Yanagi replied.

"Mm…" They both nodded at each other.

Yanagi bent down and picked up a twig on the soil. Yukimura shifted his weight onto his right leg and looked at the data master.

"Renji, what are you doing?" Yukimura asked, before he lifted up his hand. "Wait, I know, collecting data."

Yanagi observed his captain before replying, "You know me well Seiichi."

_'It's all you do after all…'_ Yukimura thought. "Should we be worried about the rest?"

"Probably," Yanagi said, "But they should be able to take care of themselves."

Yukimura stepped back and leaned against a charred black tree trunk. The two remained silent as Yukimura watched Yanagi 'collect data' on the surroundings. A quiet bunch, these two.

.~.

_Poke._

"Stop that Niou-kun," Yagyuu grumbled, visibly annoyed.

_Poke._

"Stop what?" Niou said.

_Poke._

"Stop poking me."

_Poke._

"I'm not."

_Poke._

"Yes, you are."

_Poke._

"No, I'm not."

Jackal sighed and stepped in between the two, pulling the stick out of the trickster's hand and snapped it into two, before tossing the broken stick behind him.

"What was that for?" Niou asked.

"You were being annoying," Jackal replied. Yagyuu adjusted his glasses and nodded, agreeing with the Brazilian.

"But I need someone to bug!" Niou protested. "Fatty and Brat aren't here, heck, even Sanada isn't here! So the only other person left to disturb is Yagyuu."

Jackal felt hurt that Niou didn't even consider him as a person worthy of annoying, but decided that it was a good thing, as he would be free from any potential headaches. Really, Marui was not the only one who would "unintentionally" insult the Brazilian on the team.

"No, Niou-kun," Yagyuu said, "You don't _need_ someone to bug, you _want_ someone to bug. Need and want have two completely different meanings, Niou-kun. Need is something that is a necessity, something that you require to survive, whereas, want is-"

Niou and Jackal gave the gentleman a blank stare.

"Dude, are you Yanagi now?" Niou asked. "Because that's just creepy, we already have one stalker on our team, we don't need another one."

Yagyuu folded his arms across his chest and tilted his chin slightly upwards. "No. It's just basic knowledge that all gentlemen should have. It's not gentlemanly to misuse words, especially those which are painfully obvious."

"Niou's never a gentleman anyways, Yagyuu," Jackal pointed out. "He's more like…" He waved his hands around in the air, as if trying to conjure a word from thin air.

"I don't know what you are going to say about me, but thank you for pointing that out Jackal," Niou replied, pointing a finger at Yagyuu, and the gentleman blinked.

Jackal gasped and said, "Niou, you just said 'thank you'."

Niou recoiled and his jaw hung open. "Oh Lord, I did? Oh my god, I did."

The trickster let out a scream. "No! Curse you Yagyuu! For infecting me with your "gentlemanliness"."

Yagyuu smirked and responded with, "It's only natural for a gentleman to teach others about the art of gentlemanliness." Yagyuu quickly wiped off the smirk because gentlemen do not smirk.

"No!" Niou let out a cry of terror and shielded his eyes as if someone sprayed pepper spray into them. "My identity! I'm a trickster for God's sake, tricksters are _not_ gentlemanly!"

Let's just say that all Jackal could do was stand there and sigh, while Niou screamed bloody murder.

.~.

Sanada took back his previous thought.

He did not want to bash himself unconscious, and instead, he wanted to bash those two's heads against a tree trunk and watch them bleed as they screamed for mercy-

Stop. Getting too violent there. Calm down.

Sanada shook his head. Violence should never be the answer.

_Right…_

Let's have a few flashbacks shall we?

Event one: Sanada slapping Kirihara for being late for practice.

Event two: Sanada slapping Marui and Niou for stealing his precious cap.

Event three: Sanada slapping Yagyuu thinking that he was Niou. (The trickster was cunning and made Yagyuu switch places with him when he knew that Sanada was going to go after him, hand ready for some slapping time.)

Event four: Sanada intending to slap Yanagi for losing against Inui, but was stopped by Kirihara.

Event five: Sanada slapping-

Yeah…you get the point.

Sanada certainly cannot be the person to use the phrase, "violence is never the answer".

But Sanada _had_ to do _something_. His sanity was at stake! (Not that it wasn't always at stake.)

Kirihara had finally dragged Marui away from the two ladybugs, and was now chasing Sanada while yelling at the top of his lungs.

That loud volume in such a dense forest…Sanada was sure that he would go deaf eventually, that is, if he doesn't kill the two before that happens.

_'No violent thoughts, Genichirou!'_ Sanada slapped his cheeks. He would have drifted off into la-la land, but he would be sure to return to reality with his face to a tree trunk, as Yukimura wasn't around to make sure that he wouldn't walk into things while he was in his own little world.

Plus, they _really_ had to find the rest of the team, and Marui and Kirihara were not people he could count on for a game of 'hunting for your teammates' in this forest. So Sanada was on his own, just, with the addition of two annoying, gives-you-headaches-people.

They were like unwanted side dishes.

Kirihara finally caught up to the vice-captain and fell into step with him. Marui was in a way being dragged backwards as Kirihara had his grip on the back of Marui's jacket.

"Akaya, let go of me!"

Kirihara gave it a few thoughts before releasing the older boy. Well, he wasn't going to use up his energy just to drag Marui around, was he? It wasn't as if the other boy didn't have legs of his own.

"Sanada-fukubuchou, what are we doing?" Kirihara asked, swatting an insect away from his face.

"Finding Yukimura and the rest obviously," Sanada replied.

"How are we going to do that?"

"By walking." Sanada wanted to add in a 'duh' at the back, but it was so out of character for him, so he left it out.

"But we could be walking anywhere, what if we get further from them instead?"

"There's no other option but to walk and look for them."

"We can always stay at a spot and wait for them to find us?"

"They might not find us."

"But they might."

Sanada twitched in irritation and replied, "But they might not." Without looking back, Sanada ordered, "Marui, get away from that tree!"

Kirihara learnt that Sanada had eyes on the back of his head.

"But-" Marui complained.

"Stop complaining and keep walking!"

It was silent for a few seconds before Kirihara decided to try his luck again.

"So…fukubuchou, how are we going to find senpai-tachi?"

Sanada's patience finally snapped and he spun around, backhanding Kirihara with so much force that the younger boy stumbled a few steps back. "TARUNDORU! Shut up and keep walking already!"

Unfortunately for Sanada, it was Kirihara. And Kirihara did not know the meaning of the words, 'shut up'. Neither did Marui, but that's another story.

As they continued to trek through the forest, Kirihara bombarded Sanada with the same questions over and over again, only to receive the same reply over and over again, with more anger and impatience in Sanada's tone each time.

Sanada really would have murdered Kirihara by now, but Yukimura wanted everyone to be alive, so he didn't. (Also because he didn't think that he'd be able to go scot-free for murder, and Kirihara was quite a valuable asset to the team.)

So…Kirihara's life was spared, no matter how much he annoyed Sanada.

Sanada mentally sighed and thought, _'Why couldn't there be some aspirins with me right now.'_

"Marui, do _not_ attempt to even _touch_ that mushroom!"

Really, why couldn't he be stuck with someone sane?

Like Jackal for example.

.~.

"Seiichi."

The blue haired youth looked up after hearing his name.

"There's acid here," Yanagi said.

Yukimura's eyes widened for a second and he quickly observed the area where he was standing. He sidestepped so that he was at least a metre away from the deadly liquid.

"Why would there be acid…" the data master mused. "In a trail, no less."

"Acid rain?" Yukimura suggested.

"No…the surroundings does not suggest that it's due to acid rain."

Yanagi glanced around before walking forwards, following the trail of acid.

"Renji, where are you going?"

"If we follow the trail, we might be able to find the source."

Yukimura paused mid-step. "Are you sure that you want to find the source of _this?_" He pointed towards the trail.

Yanagi nodded. "Yes, Seiichi. It's for data purposes. We might get a clue as to where we are."

"We're in a forest," Yukimura said in a deadpan tone.

"Yes, but which part of Tenipuri?"

"Will it help us get out of here if you know where we are?"

Yanagi didn't reply for a few seconds. "Maybe. But it should help increase our chances of surviving as I might know the types of flora and fauna here once I find out where we are."

"That wasn't your main purpose was it?" Yukimura said in a knowing voice.

"No," Yanagi admitted. "I just wanted to collect data. I don't have any data regarding something that could leave a trail of acid behind."

"Ah."

Yukimura didn't stop Yanagi from following the trail, as he too, followed the data master.

There really was no point in having that conversation earlier.

* * *

**A/N: Revising for Economics - explains Yagyuu's lecture on the difference between need and want. **

**I've seen two ladybugs doing the deed once - I was immature and laughed while pointing at them like they were exhibitions in a museum. But hey, it's not something you'd see everyday. **


	6. Yukimura VS Yanagi

**Yukimura VS Yanagi**

Yanagi pushed a few leaves away and poked his head through the gap.

Within the next second, the data master had his head pulled back, leaves arranged neatly back into their original position, and was speed walking back the way they came from.

"Renji?" Yukimura asked, staring at the back of his friend.

Yukimura glanced towards the leaves, and back at Yanagi, who was by the way, getting smaller and smaller as he got further away.

Deciding not to take any chances (even though he was the one who kept telling Kirihara, "life is full of risks"), Yukimura turned his back onto whatever made Yanagi run off like that.

How ironic, Yukimura Seiichi.

.~.

_"Fuck, bloody hell, son of a bitch, fuck…"_ Niou chanted under his breath, as he followed the other two like a zombie.

Unable to bear overwhelming amount of cuss words that escaped from the trickster's mouth, Jackal turned around and asked, "Niou, why are you swearing so much? At what are you even swearing at?"

"I need to expel the disease called 'gentlemanliness' that Yagyuu had injected into my system," hissed the trickster in reply.

"And the way to do that is by swearing?"

Niou gave the Brazilian a look as if to say, 'No shit. How else am I meant to get rid of that damned disease?' before he continued his swearing marathon.

Jackal made a surrendering gesture with his arms and shrugged, "Just asking."

Then, he turned to Yagyuu who doesn't seem the least affected by the constant swearing around them.

"How are _you_ not affected? Aren't gentlemen like, against swearing?"

Jackal raised an eyebrow when the gentleman didn't reply. Stepping in front of Yagyuu, Jackal waved his right hand directly in front of the other's face (like an inch away).

"What's the matter, Jackal-kun?" Yagyuu asked, furrowing his eyebrows at the close distance between his face and Jackal's palm.

Jackal sweat dropped and asked, "Were you even listening to me?"

But the gentleman didn't reply, yet again. Why? Because a certain word coming out of Niou's mouth floated into Yagyuu's ear and the gentleman had blocked out one of his senses.

His sense of hearing.

So basically, all this while, Yagyuu had been walking without being able to hear a single thing.

Jackal slapped his forehead with his palm.

And he had thought that Yagyuu was somewhat normal and sane, despite him being so obsessed about being a gentleman.

Guess not.

Yagyuu had definitely skyrocketed his way up to the top of Jackal's list of crazy people in Rikkai, which consisted of all the regulars, besides Jackal himself, and Yukimura. There is no way one would be able to live should they ever call Yukimura crazy, and Jackal valued his life, thank you very much.

.~.

"Hey, isn't this where we started?" Marui pointed out.

Sanada looked right, left, up and down, before slapping himself in the face.

They were, like Marui had pointed out, indeed where they had originally started.

By started, I don't mean, where they started after being separated from the other regulars.

But instead, I mean, that they were back where they first woke up after being drugged. Yeah that place. The place where they were a human pile, the place where Kirihara pulled a bunch of Marui's hair, the place where Jackal nearly died from the heavy weight on his body, the place where Yagyuu discovered his glasses in the mud, the place where Yanagi was staring intensely at a rainbow coloured flower…and so on.

Yes, _that_ place.

"Sanada-fukubuchou, we had just walked around in a circle didn't we?"

Yes, they did. Not that Sanada was going to say anything about it.

"Let's keep going."

"Oi, Sanada, are we going to go a different route, or are we going to take that path that my awesome, pure genius plan found?"

"What path?" Kirihara muttered.

"Different route," Sanada immediately rejected Marui's suggestion of taking that narrow path which he had traumas from. (All to do with that chain message game they played, remember?)

Sanada randomly selected a direction to head towards and started walking again, Kirihara and Marui trailing behind him.

_Step. Step. Step. Step. Bam!_

Sanada crashed into something. Or more specifically, _someone._

"Renji…" Sanada growled, rubbing his nose with one hand, while using the other to adjust his cap.

"Ah, Yanagi," Marui said. "Where were you?"

"Genichirou, were you heading this way? If so, I advise you to turn around immediately." The data master brushed dust off his clothes, fixing them, completely ignoring Marui's question.

"Why?" Kirihara asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Renji!" they heard a familiar voice ring out.

"Is that Yukimura?" Marui asked, pointing behind Yanagi, at a blurred yellow figure a distance away.

"Yanagi-senpai, are you running away from buchou?"

Sanada pushed past Yanagi and jogged over to presuming, Yukimura's location.

"Genichirou!" Yanagi called, but the one called the Emperor ignored him.

"Yanagi-senpai, why are you running away from buchou?"

Yanagi faced Kirihara with a blank face, as if Kirihara's statement was something so ridiculously unheard of. "Who said that I was running away from Seiichi?"

Kirihara tilted his head to the side and pointed, "Because you told fukubuchou to turn around, and buchou's behind you…so…I thought that you were running away from buchou. Am I wrong?"

Yanagi sighed and shook his head. _'What foolishness…these people without data.'_

Of course, he _thought_ that, he didn't _say_ that out loud. Geez. Data masters are experts at knowing what to say, and what not to say.

Um…I highly doubt that. But let's not go into that for now.

"I'm assuming that you have no idea where Jackal, Niou and Yagyuu are," Yanagi commented, looking at the two standing in front of him. Because, obviously, Jackal, Niou and Yagyuu were not present.

"Nope," Marui popped the 'p', placing his hands behind his head, assuming the posture of 'I absolutely don't care what-so-ever'.

"Hm…Jackal and Yagyuu's with Niou…so I doubt that they would get into trouble," Yanagi mused.

"Are you worried? Why?"

Yanagi opened his mouth to reply, but he was cut off by Yukimura who called his name in an annoyed tone.

"You could have waited for me," the captain huffed.

"Oh, sorry Seiichi," Yanagi apologised.

"What did you see anyway?" Yukimura asked, fixing his headband, that was slipping off.

"I was just getting to that, Seiichi." Yanagi cleared his throat.

"Oh, wow, _sorry_ for interrupting."

"Sarcasm is unneeded Seiichi."

"Just answer the question…"

"Fine." Yanagi cleared his throat again, for dramatic effect. "What I saw defied all of my data. It just goes against it completely."

"…"

"And?"

"Never in my life, have I ever thought that something like that could exist!"

"You were the one who said that dragons could exist," Sanada pointed out.

"Because dragons are cool, obviously!" Marui exclaimed.

"Let's get back to the topic shall we?" Yukimura brushed those two's comments off.

"Yeah, Yanagi-senpai, don't beat around the bush, it's annoying."

Yanagi looked _slightly_ offended for a second.

"A fairy."

"Huh?" the others asked in confusion.

"I saw a fairy."

"…"

"A fairy?" Kirihara tilted his head to the side.

"You mean like the ones that flutter around flowers, dancing and glittering and all that shiny crap?" asked Marui.

"...yes and no," Yanagi replied.

"Yes to a fairy and no to what Marui described fairies to be?" Yukimura asked to be sure.

"Yes."

"How can there be a fairy in the first place?" huffed Sanada, nearly rolling his eyes.

"I _saw_ it with my own two eyes Genichirou."

"Can you even see?" Kirihara pointed at the data master.

A vein popped slightly and Yanagi punched Kirihara on the head.

"OW!"

"My vision is perfectly fine Akaya."

"Are you sur-"

"ANYWAYS...back to the topic." Marui made a gesture with his hands. "What about the fairy?"

"What about what fairy?" Yanagi asked.

"The fairy that you said you saw, duh." Marui rolled his eyes and placed his hands behind his head. "Because you wouldn't be running away like a wimp after seeing a tiny ass fairy. Like seriously."

"It was no small fairy Marui."

That made the rest of them raise an eyebrow.

"Oh, what, so you're saying that it's the size of a skyscraper? 'Cause if it is, I'm pretty darn sure that we would be able to see it right now," drawled Marui.

"You guys are being so sarcastic today." Yanagi shook his head.

Kirihara shrugged. "The situation calls for sarcasm."

Yukimura nodded, smiling. "Akaya knows his stuff." The two of them fist bumped.

_"It was me though…" whined Marui in the background, upset that he was not acknowledged for his awesomeness._

Sanada cleared his throat. "Can we just get back to that _fairy_ Renji was about to describe to us? Even though I'm pretty sure fairies don't even exist."

_'I'm so glad my teammates trust me.'_ Yanagi rolled his eyes under his eyelids – if one could even achieve such a motion. "I didn't really get a good look at it, but from what I deduce, it is approximately 2.1342384 metres tall."

Kirihara had a blank look and stared at the empty space above the data master's head, muttering incomprehensible words under his breath. Yukimura looked at the younger boy and directed his gaze towards Yanagi.

"Renji, I think you might need to show Akaya what you mean by 2.134-something metres."

"2.1342384 metres," Yanagi reminded, only to receive a glare from the Child of God.

"Niou's right, you really _are_ an idiot Bakaya," Marui commented. Fortunately for the red head, Kirihara was still in a daze and did not hear his comment, or Marui would probably have one or two broken ribs by now. Niou saying that was one thing, but Marui saying that _he_ was dumb was a whole different story – because Niou at least, had some brains.

"You're as confused as Akaya is, Marui," commented Yukimura knowingly.

Yanagi shook his head and sighed. Honestly, these people without data are so foolish. He pulled Sanada, who was standing solemnly behind Yukimura, by the arm and hovered his hand over the vice-captain's head. "_That_, would be 2.1342384 metres tall."

"Ooooohh," voiced Marui and Akaya in amazement. "How do you do that without a ruler, or some sort of measuring device?"

Yanagi suppressed a smile, but one could practically _see_ his ego seeping through his façade. "Data is the answer to everything."

"Hey Yanagi, you should teach me some of this data crap!" Marui's eyes twinkled, as if star-struck. "I would be able to pass Maths with flying colours and shove Niou's big fat ass into the mud!"

_"What does Niou-senpai's butt got to do with this?"_ _Akaya muttered to nobody in particular._

"Oh? You've finally came to realise the wonders of data, Marui – it's data, not crap," Yanagi corrected. He was proud that someone, other than Inui, was interested in being his disciple. "First, to became a user of the almighty data, you have to-"

"Stop!" Yukimura interrupted, popping the 'p'. "You've seemed to have made a mistake. _I'm_ the almighty one here Renji."

"Oh?" Yanagi focused his attention onto the Child of God, as if ready to start a debating competition about who was the real _'almighty'_ one.

"Of course." Yukimura ran his fingers through his blue hair, smugness written all over his face. "Why do you think people call me the _Child of God_?"

"You've pointed out something very important Seiichi. However, you've seemed to have forgotten that your title is simply the _Child of God_, not God himself. Data is the almighty one, equivalent to God himself. You're simply the _child_ of the almighty powers."

"My my Renji-"

"I'm afraid that that's the-"

What was wrong with his teammates? Sanada backed away and shook his head, hoping that whatever was the cause for his teammates' strange behaviour was not contagious. Ignoring their retreated vice-captain, Akaya and Marui glanced back and forth between Yukimura and Yanagi, casting bets between each other as to who would emerge victorious in their debating competition.

So…what is the story behind the 2.1342384 metres tall fairy?

_"Data is-"_

_"What foolishness!"_

_"Yukimura-buchou is going to win this, I bet you all my stones for it!"_

_"Yanagi still has a chance to fight back!"_

Seems like we have to wait a while more to find out!

.~.

Meanwhile, with Sanada.

_Buzz! Slap!_

Sanada sighed for the 100th time that day, wiping blood off his palm after he slapped a mosquito dead. He took a quick look at his teammates and tugged his cap down, shielding his eyes.

This would probably be a long wait…

* * *

**A/N: Comments, critiques, alerts are greatly appreciated. **


End file.
